


Broken Promises

by findaplacetoloseit



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: ALSO. A KITTEN., Angst, F/F, Feels, Fluff, canon divergence? I guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-26 05:29:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7562221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findaplacetoloseit/pseuds/findaplacetoloseit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's okay," The princess mumbled, and the rover fell apart in her arms.<br/><br/>A broken promise (or two, or three, or four).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sammy

**Author's Note:**

> For the purposes of this story Amberle's father dies when she's ten, and her nine-year-old self still has him around, sees him every day, and, you know, breaks the rules to follow him out on hunting trips. :)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

"Rosemary and thyme, alright?" Cephelo eyed the kitten darkly. "And before dark, kid, or that thing's not gonna last another week."

Eretria nodded quickly, fearfully, hugging the tiny black kitten closer to her chest.

"I'll be fast, sir."

Cephelo searched her a moment longer, and then grinned wolfishly. He slapped her on the shoulder in mock encouragement (it hurt, but Eretria was used to it by now, and wouldn't ever give him the satisfaction of seeing her flinch) and rose to his feet. While he was kneeling, the two of them were at just about eye level. But, as he stood, he grew to a towering, terrifying height above her- big and rough and threatening and very much owner-like.

"Good."

And with that, he strode off toward the camp, scratching absently at his unshaven stubble. The kitten let out a little mewl, almost like a sigh of relief, and Eretria bumped their noses together to shush it.

"Quiet, Sammy," she said crossly, "you know you're not supposed to make noises unless we're outside the camp boundaries."

Sammy stared at her for a moment, eyes large and uncomprehending, before burying his face into the crook of her neck. It was his way of asking to be petted. With a sigh, Eretria dug her fingers into his scruff and scratched softly there, feeling something rise in her chest, like it always did, when he started to purr contentedly in her arms.

"Alright, it's okay," she murmured hopelessly, turning toward the forest-

"Let's just get out of here."

-

Amberle was maybe just a little bit...lost.

It wasn't her fault! Her father had left the castle on a late autumn hunting trip, and she'd wanted to go with him and watch- it was a fair request, wasn't it? But _nooooo_. _Kings_ and _princes_ could go hunting, but not a _princess_ \- _princesses_ , as quoted by her Royal Education tutor, were "graceful, well-mannered girls, with perfect hair, gentle minds, and an infallible sense of the greater good," which was pretty much plain _boring_.

Amberle thought she'd much rather be a knight, with a big shiny sword and a polished suit of royal armour, galloping through the Four Lands upon her noble steed, rescuing damsels in distress.

(Or was it dudes in distress? Catania made it very unclear.)

Anyway, although Amberle the _knight_ may have been permitted to hunt with her father, Amberle the _princess_ had not.

(Amberle _was_  aware that part of the reason may have been the fact that she was only nine years old- but, in her head, it didn't seem like such an important factor. Nine year olds could do great things, couldn't they?)

And so, like a true prince (or perhaps even a _Chosen_ , Amberle thought, with a shiver of delight) when the hunting party rode out at the crack of dawn, she had (dressed in her foolproof, epically camouflaged disguise- which was really just some old rags she borrowed from a servant) followed.

It'd been fun...at first.

Due to her incredibly awesome skills from the many games of hide-and-seek she'd spent hours and hours playing with Lorin and the other elven kids, none of the party (even her own father, to Amberle's delight) had noticed the young girl following along behind. They'd trotted onward, breath steaming in the brisk morning air, and Amberle had enjoyed jogging along after their horses, darting behind a tree whenever their gazes wandered.

But, of course, it didn't last.

After a while, (as Amberle probably should've expected), the scout's horn was sounded, as possible prey had been sighted. (She didn't have any idea they'd seen- it could've been a stag, or a reindeer, or a unicorn- or may just as easily have been a rabbit.) The entire party kicked their steeds into action, and raced off into the forest.

Amberle, taken by surprise, had run after them- but, to her lasting disgrace, she was only nine and therefore not as fast as a galloping horse. The riders eventually disappeared into the distance, and Amberle doubled over, exhausted. After she'd regained her breath, she realised that indeed, she was completely. And utterly. Lost.

So, she had ended up here.

Alone.

She'd been wandering the forest for hours, and it was past midday. Amberle could tell it was past noon because the sun was dipping toward the horizon and the sky was slowly getting duller and the wind was at a certain tempature- well, actually, mostly because her stomach was growling. Her feet hurt, she was sweating profusely, and there was a scrape down the side of her arm where a tree branch had whacked into it. (Amberle preferred the idea that the tree had whacked into _her,_ not the other way around).

She wasn't cold (servant rags were actually warmer than they looked, and blocked most of the chilly autumn breeze) but she was _hungry_ , and when she got back to the palace she was going to _severely_ punish whoever gave her the idea to follow the hunting party in the first place. And then-

-and then she rounded a corner, and a girl appeared in her field of view.

The two met each other's gaze at the same moment. The girl stilled in her crouching position. Something small and black darted behind the girl, as if startled- but she held Amberle's gaze, like a frightened rat caught in the torchlight, ignoring the movement.

"Um..." Amberle's words trailed off.

The girl watched her. She was small, with wisps of loose, tangled dark hair curling down to just above her shoulders, eyes near-black and too big for her face, and stains of earth on her knees. The fallen leaves scattered around her seemed to highlight her as an awkward, out-of-place thing- a dark, solid creature amongst the drifitng scarlets and golds of autumn.

If Amberle had to guess, she'd say the girl was about her age- but it was hard to tell, really, because her clothing dwarfed her slight figure in an unorganized mass of buckles, straps, and rough, strangely-coloured cloth. The weak sunlight splattered across her body, illuminating the youthful smoothness of her face.

Amberle noticed, with a twinge of something unfamiliar in her stomach, that she was very pretty.

The small, moving shape behind her caught Amberle's attention again- it made a weird noise, like a cross between a squeal and a long-winded whine.

Amberle flinched involuntarily- what was it? A rat? A wolf? A... _demon?_ (Everyone had always insisted to her that the demons were safely locked away in the Forbidding, but that didn't stop Amberle's imagination from running wild.)

Slowly, the pretty girl reached behind her. Stare still locked with Amberle's, her hand disappeared behind her back. Amberle tilted her head, trying to see, but the thing remained just out of her view.

After a few moments, the noise broke off and faded into silence.

"I, uh..." Amberle shifted, and scratched the tip of her nose awkwardly. "Hi."

"Hi." She echoed. Her voice was small and soft and almost...scared.

"I'm, I mean-" Amberle stuttered, (since when did she _stutter?_ ) "I'm Amberle, youngest pr-princess of the elvish race, granddaughter of the great King Eventine, pleased to meet you."

It was a line hammered into her by the tutor- _introduce yourself with this statement,_ _and you_ _need say nothing more._ Amberle hated the cold, impersonal stiffness of it, but over time she had had to use it to greet many a stranger, and eventually, it had become habit.

(People usually seemed to be impressed by the various titles, anyway.)

But this girl simply tilted her head, as if uncomprehending.

"Elves?"

"...what about them?"

"You're an elf?"

The thing behind the girl's back darted distractingly in and out of view, brittle leaves crunching loudly under its...paws? Feet? Claws?

"Well, yes, of course."

To prove it, Amberle flicked a lock of hair away from one ear, revealing the telltale pointed tip that only the people of the elvish race possessed.

"Oh." The girl studied her. "I've never met an elf before."

Amberle scoffed, equally disbelieving and baffled.

"Yeah, _right."_

The girl simply shrugged.

"It's true." The...the _thing_ behind her let out another squeal-whine, and she took a deep, steadying breath. "Just- don't kill me, okay? I'm only gonna pick up Sammy."

Amberle watched, bewildered _(why would I kill her?)_ as the girl turned, gathered a tiny, squirming bundle of black fur into her arms, and rose to her feet, dry leaves fluttering around her ankles.

Amberle noted that the other girl was shorter than her, which was odd, as Amberle was the shortest of all the palace children, due to some weird delay in her growth spurt. She'd never met someone her age who was shorter than her.

(Apparently she'd be loads taller when she was older, due to something strange and magical-sounding called _puberty_ , but Amberle would believe that only when it happened.)

The bundle- no, the creature- _Sammy?_ \- buried its little head into the crook of the girl's neck, it's tail lashing furiously against the skin of her forearm. The girl shushed it with a fast string of murmured words, hugging it close to her chest. Amberle couldn't make out most of the words, but she caught an _it's okay_ and a  _not him, you're fine._

Finally, when...when _Sammy_ had calmed, the girl lifted her head to meet Amberle's gaze again. Her stare was suddenly challenging- almost as if she was daring Amberle to object.

There was another awkward silence.

The gentle breeze rustled through the dry autumn leaves overhead and underfoot. 

"Uh..." Amberle began, "I'm kind of lost, so..."

The girl's brow smoothed fractionally, like she was realising something.

"You want me to help you get somewhere?" She asked.

Amberle let out an audible sigh of relief. _Finally,_ something she at least partially understood.

"Yes. To Arborlon."

"Can you pay?" Amberle was taken aback at that.

"What, you won't help me for free?" She asked incredulously.

"Can't." The girl said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh, okay." Amberle reached for her pockets, then remembered. "Oh. I, uh...I don't have any gold."

The girl watched, unimpressed.

"I mean, I have-" Amberle glanced down at herself, searching for something, anything, and her gaze landed on the fingers of her left hand. _The ring._ "-this! Special quality, uh, elvish silver, from the halls of Arborlon itself." 

(Amberle was pretty sure the ring was special somehow; Grandfather had given it to her, and explained in mind-numbing detail about how the royal crest engraved into it signified her rank, her heritage, her place in the world, blah blah blah; but Amberle didn't really understand how a piece of metal could define who you were, and anyway, she was sure he wouldn't mind if she traded it- so long as it was for a good cause.)

The girl took a few steps closer, small bare feet crunching on the autumn leaves underfoot, and held out her hand, her other arm curling protectively around the creature. Amberle dropped the ring into her palm. Within moments, it had disappeared into one of the girl's many pockets.

"There," Amberle said, suddenly feeling much lighter, "now you can-"

"Nope." The girl interrupted. "Also, Sammy has to choose."

"The...creature? Choose what?"

"The _kitten._ " The girl (and Sammy) glared at her. Amberle glared right back. She'd never heard of something called a _kitten_ before, and was fairly sure the girl had made up the word. "He chooses if I take you to Arborlon or not."

"But I'm a princess! I gave you my ring! Why is it _his_ decision?"

"Because I love him more than anything else in the entire world," the girl replied matter-of-factly, "and I trust his judgement."

Those words probably should've hit Amberle harder than they did, but they were lost on her in the gravity of the situation. She rolled her eyes, letting out what she hoped was a very exasperated-grown-up sigh and not a breathy-little-girl gasp.

"Whatever Sammy says, then. Sure, why not?"

The girl nodded. Her face went instantly solemn. Amberle recognised the expression- many grown-ups in her family's court bore the same look when about to speak of something of great importance- but on this young girl's face, it looked so much more innocent. (And quite endearing, actually.)

"You heard her, Sammy."

The kitten peeked up at Amberle, eyes large and shy. Its- _his_ \- ears were pricked, its tail was stiff, and it looked so very small. Amberle thought, absently, that the two made a good pair- they were both small and strangely cute, with dark hair and soulful gazes, nuzzling unconsciously into each other.

Slowly, Sammy extended a paw. His head fell into a curious tilt as he studied her. Seconds passed, and his paw stilled in the chilly air- almost as if he was waiting for something.

"I won't hurt you," Amberle breathed instinctively, after a few moments of tense silence. She glanced up at the girl, and added, "I _promise._ "

The girl's eyes softened at that, and Amberle felt another unfamiliar twinge in her stomach.

It was strange...

although not at all unpleasant.

Something bumped gently against her skin, and Amberle looked down. Sammy gazed up at her, his paw-pad resting lightly on Amberle's forearm.

If the kitten could smile, Amberle was sure that he would be smiling at her- softly, shyly, but smiling nonetheless. The corner of the elf girl's lips tugged upward in return, and their gazes held for a single peaceful moment.

"Arborlon's not far." The girl said, and Amberle looked up at her again. Her eyes sparkled in the afternoon light.

"Sammy made his choice. I'll take you."

Amberle's smile spread uncontrollably, and she grinned, wide and relieved. It felt as if a weight had disappeared from her shoulders. The girl smiled back, and, for the third time, the unfamiliar feeling twisted in Amberle's belly.

Before she had time to think better of it, Amberle stuck out her hand.

"I'm Amberle." She said. "And you're..."

The girl adjusted Sammy carefully, so that he wouldn't fall, and reached out with her one free arm.

Their hands clasped briefly, and Amberle ignored the weird tingles it created in her skin.

"Eretria." The girl- _Eretria_ \- dropped their handshake, and beckoned with a good-natured jerk of her head. "Come on, princess. Let's get you home."

-

Eretria sprinted through the darkening forest, Sammy at her heels. She laughed into the air, joyful and careless and loud.

She'd taken the pretty princess with the pointy ears- _Amberle_ , Eretria thought, feeling the name spiral weightlessly up behind her ribcage. She'd taken _Amberle_ within sight of Arborlon, just as twilight fell. The elf girl had smiled, waved at Sammy, mumbled something about getting back before her father noticed her absence, and headed off toward the castle. Eretria liked that Amberle had liked Sammy. Not many people did.

And then Eretria had ran off in the opposite direction, and now her bare feet were tripping over themselves amongst the autumn leaves and it was almost too dark to see and her fingers were clenched so tightly around the ring that she was sure there would be visible marks left on her skin, but she didn't _care_.

Silver! _Elvish_ silver! She remembered Cephalo saying anything elvish was incredibly rare-

and _she,_ the youngest and littlest of the entire Rover camp, had some in her possession.

She glanced down at Sammy, leaping gleefully alongside her, eyes shining in the dark. Something dizzy, overwhelming, and so very _beautiful_ coursed through her entire body. Eretria laughed again, because Cephelo would be _happy_ and the other Rovers would be _envious_ and _perhaps_ Sammy would even be allowed to sleep and eat with her tonight, instead of lurking around the camp boundaries until morning like usual?

 _ **"Cephelo!"**_ Eretria yelled, bounding into the firelit clearing, fist raised triumphantly above her head. She raced through a crowd of taller (and very startled-looking) rovers, shouting his name in excitement.

"Kid, what-" Cephelo stumbled blearily out of his tent, rubbing at his eyes, "It's after sundown, where have you-"

"It doesn't matter!" Eretria interrupted loudly, skidding to a stop in front of him. She thrust her fist up at him, ignoring the bump of Sammy's body against her ankles as he failed to stop in time.

"Look! Look what I've got!"

The man raised an eyebrow, but held out his hand. Eretria reached up to drop the ring into his palm, and waited as he examined it, breath hard and fast in her throat.

"This has the royal crest, kid." Cephelo said finally.

"Yeah, I got it from a princess!" Eretria's words tumbled over each other in excitement. "N-not just any princess, she's an elf, her name's Amberle. Can you believe it, an actual real elf! She was lost so she gave me that ring and I took her back to her castle-"

"You did what?"

Cephelo's tone was calm- almost too calm, like the air before a storm.

Eretria didn't notice.

"Took the princess back to Arborlon, to her castle, Ceph-" Eretria caught herself- "I mean, sir. And the ring, it's pure elvish silver, she said!"

He went silent.

Eretria waited, words bubbling insistently in her throat, for the permission to speak again.

"Just...give me a moment."

Eretria watched, something within her sinking, as he turned, and hurried over to another towering grown-up. (Adrid? Fanim? She always got their names mixed up.) The pair of them began to exchange hasty whispers, gesturing between Eretria and the ring.

With a short, breathless sigh, Eretria dropped to a crouch. Sammy nuzzled his head into the heel of her palm. Some of her adrenaline faded, quickly and easily, like dust disappearing into the wind.

"Don't worry, Sammy," she muttered, "We did good. He's not gonna hurt you." The kitten looked up at her hopefully, and her love for him trembled and ached behind her ribcage. "I won't let him."

Sammy let out a small, silent breath against her skin. Eretria closed her eyes briefly, and whispered the oath again under her breath, letting the words etch themselves into her heart.

"I promise."

And, without warning, the pressure on her hand was gone.

"Hey!" Eretria yelped instinctively.

Suddenly she felt large, grasping hands all over her, pulling her roughly to her feet by her elbows and shoulders and the back of her collar. Her eyelids snapped open, and she tried to swat them off, lurching unsteadily in her captors' grasps- but there were big, blurry bodies all around her, and her punches only flailed uselessly against the sharp belt buckles and solid muscles of her fellow rovers.

 _Sammy, Sammy, Sammy,_ Eretria's mind shrieked as another gloved palm clapped over her mouth, as her wrists were twisted callously behind her back, as she yelled and writhed helplessly against her captors. _Sammy, Sammy, where are you?_

"Stop your struggling, kiddo."

Cephelo's voice cut cleanly through the chaos, and Eretria hated how her first instinct was to obey. The massive grown-up rovers around her stilled, their muscles tensing, their fingers tightening in painful, unbreakable grips on her limbs and body. With grips like that, her struggles would be near-useless. Eretria hissed angrily in the back of her throat- but copied their stillness.

She knew what happened when one defied Cephelo.

The man strode through the group, footsteps heavy and certain and deadly; like a predator, advancing on its prey.

Once he came into view, Eretria's breath caught painfully in her lungs.

 _"Sammy,"_ she breathed against her makeshift gag.

"You had one job, kid," Cephelo said as he approached, one hand tight around the kitten's scruff, the other holding a simple, deadly dagger to his throat.

"Grab whatever's of the highest value, and run back to your owner with it."

Eretria had eyes only for Sammy, dangling precariously from Cephelo's grasp, eyes huge and frightened. He caught sight of Eretria, and his eyes widened even more, but he didn't make a sound.

(Eretria knew, intimately, that Cephelo didn't like his victims to fight back- she had trained Sammy with that knowledge, as well as she could. True to his training, the kitten stayed still and had remained silent as he could.)

"Not too hard, is it?"

He was drawing near now, the darkness seeming to cling to his towering form.

"Even a dumbass slave-born could understand."

The gloved, grime-smeared hand covering her mouth was firm and steadfast in its cruelty, trapping Eretria's weak sound of protest behind her lips.

"But no." Cephelo laughed, short and bitter. "Not you."

He dropped to his knees in front of her, so that they were at eye level. The rovers stood silent and steady, as if they knew what was going to happen. Eretria's eyes were drawn insistently to the press of the blade against Sammy's throat.

" _Look_ at me."

Somebody slapped her, quick and vicious, on the back of her head, and she forced her gaze to meet Cephelo's. His eyes were cold, and glittered with malice. His jaw was clenched, and his expression was _dangerous_ \- fury lay, barely-restrained, below the curl of his lip and the sharp crease of his scowl.

Eretria bit back a fearful whimper, willing herself to stop shaking.

She didn't succeed.

"You had a princess," Cephelo told her, his tone low and threatening, "and not just any princess- _the_ elvish princess Amberle, granddaughter of Eventine Elessidil, future heir to the throne of Arborlon, _within your grasp_ \- and you brought me a ring."

His gaze didn't waver.

"A single. Goddamn. Ring."

Eretria tried to do or say something- _anything_ \- but the hand at her mouth kept her silent, and the other hands on her body kept her restrained. She could only watch, eyes burning and stinging with tears, as Cephelo increased the pressure of the blade on Sammy's neck.

The kitten let out a soft, high-pitched whine of fear.

The noise tore horribly at Eretria's insides.

"I warned you!"

Her master's voice rose, harsh and furious, and Eretria cowered under his cutting glare. "I _told_ you, kid, one more _stupid_ mistake and you'll live to regret it!"

With that, he tightened his grip and dug his ragged fingernails deep into Sammy's scruff.

The kitten let out a little yowl of pain, and twisted helplessly in Cephelo's grasp. His claws scrabbled at empty air, and he tried to wriggle away, but the man held him with a white-knuckled grasp and a glint of madness in his eyes. The little kitten stood no chance against the rough, careless shakes and curse words Cephelo began to inflict upon him.

 _"Stop!"_ Eretria tried to scream, but all that came out was a muffled, unintelligible noise. Sammy writhed back and forth, to no avail. Cephelo continued to press the dagger ever harder into the kitten's throat, causing a few beads of blood to well up under the blade, starkly scarlet against the soft black of Sammy's fur.

Terror rushed through her veins, lurched sickeningly in her stomach, twitched in the desperate pull of her wrists against whomever of her captors held them tightly behind her back. _No,_ she tried to shout, _no, no no no-_

"This is a lesson!" Cephelo roared. "You _fucking idiot_ _ **slave!** "_

Eretria's gaze caught with Sammy's, and she choked on an anguished sob.

His eyes were big and blurry and bright and _terrified_ , but still they were incredibly beautiful, just like always- and then, all of a sudden, his struggles ceased. He looked back at her as he dangled, helpless and exhausted in Cephelo's merciless grip, the promise echoing in the space between them.

_He won't hurt you. I won't let him._

_I promise._

And he looked at her, and Eretria wanted to yell and scream and cry because he was looking at her like he still believed in that promise, because he really _believed_ that the wreck of a girl standing unsteadily before him could actually protect him, because a flash of hope was leaping in his eyes-

-and then Cephelo drew the dagger in a quick, vicious slash across his innocent throat.

And she watched, something within her shattering, as the light and the beauty and the _life_ drained from her little Sammy's eyes.

She heard Cephelo chuckle, cold and triumphant.

"Learned your lesson now, kid?"

And Eretria went _wild._

Eretria doesn't remember all of it, now. She can remember the white-hot _rage_ in her veins and the other rovers struggling to restrain her, and Sammy's stare, blank and empty and dull and dead. There was a lot of shouting, she thinks, a metallic taste of blood in her mouth from when she probably bit someone; and pain. An explosion of blazing, all-consuming pain, powerful and bottomless as the ocean, that swept her up and drowned her in its rampaging, fiery depths.

She learned later that it was grief.

Her nine-year-old self only registered it as absolute agony.

Eretria does remember, oh-so-vividly, the thud of Sammy's limp form hitting the ground, and Cephelo's voice saying, " _burn the body, throw it the wolves, whatever, just get rid of it. We don't need her weeping over some goddamn grave."_

She remembers Sammy disappearing behind mismatched boots and trampled bits of earth and leaves and poorly-aimed kicks, as they herded her away.

Mostly, though, Eretria remembers a dark, freezing corner of a spare tent, where they'd imprisoned her for the night. She remembers curling in on herself, icy tears trickling slowly over her cheeks, burying her sobs into the crooks of her elbows, shivering and heartbroken and alone.

Every time she'd closed her eyes she had seen Sammy- she'd involuntarily replayed the leap of hope in his eyes, the slash of the blade across his throat, and then the sickening slump of his lifeless body too many times to count.

And what hurt most- what made her throat burn and her chest throb and every breath cut deeply and horribly into her lungs- was the knowledge that she'd broken her promise.

_She'd broken her promise._

She'd promised Sammy that she wouldn't let Cephelo hurt him.

And she had failed.

The pain settled into its permanent residence inside her, and Eretria cried.

-

By the time the sun rose, the tear tracks had dried on her cheeks; the shaking had calmed itself somewhat; and Eretria stepped out of the tent as a different person.

She wasn't the same little girl who had marveled at the world and run barefoot through the forest in the dark and shouted her excitement to a camp full of rovers- oh, no.

From the moment Eretria stepped out of that tent, all clenched fists and hardened eyes and hair twisted harshly into the braids of adulthood (done with painstaking, fumbling slowness over the night, when she had realised she couldn't go to sleep), she was the Eretria that didn't _care._

Something within her had collapsed that cold autumn night, the night Sammy died, and she was reincarnated as someone almost entirely different- as a girl with callous morals, a rebellious demeanour, a bitter sense of humour, a burning desire for freedom, and a will to do whatever it took to achieve her goals.

She became the girl who picked her battles, the girl who fought tooth and nail to survive, the standoffish, dangerous girl who could often be found twirling a blade or two carelessly between her fingers.

The girl who _never_ made promises.

Cephelo had turned to her as she left the tent, the new Eretria, and she had met his stare, her face devoid of expression, an empty space behind her ribcage where her love for Sammy used to be. He knew he'd broken her. And he knew she'd been remade. She knew he knew; the knowledge scraped hollowly underneath her skin, and inside her skull, as he smiled a horrible, victorious smile.

 _I win,_ his smile said, and Eretria watched him walk away, her eyes dark and dull in the weak morning sunlight.

(The furious desire for vengeance hadn't awakened in her, not yet- the first few days, it had lain dormant under layers and layers of numbing sorrow.)

But ever since she had emerged from the tent, Eretria had realised three simple truths. In the weeks and months and years thereafter, she lay awake many a lonely night, mindlessly repeating the truths under her breath to fend off the pain and the fear and the grief, and be left with only stormy, mind-consuming, near-uncontrollable fury. 

1\. She hated Cephelo.

2\. She hated herself.

And 3. She hated the girl she'd found in the woods- the one who'd caused it all.

She _hated_ Princess Amberle.

 


	2. Amberle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The development of PrincessRover. (Canon Divergence).
> 
> Enjoy!

Years later, when Amberle's path crossed hers again, Eretria didn't recognise her.

...not at first, anyway. The girl was dressed in foreign clothing, her hair was far longer, a hint of steel glittered at her hip, and the shadows of the midnight woods blurred the lines of her face to a point of near-indistinction. She was a hell of a lot taller than she'd been when Eretria had seen her last, and held herself differently- warily, one hand on the hilt of her weapon, and with a careful purpose to her step, like any non-idiotic stranger wandering the woods alone at night would.

Eretria could've mistaken her for any old elf.

But as soon the royal crest on her gauntlet caught the light of the fire, and the name _Princess_ fell like an instinct from her lips, she knew.

The fury surged, bitter and blazing in her throat, and she fumbled with her knives as Amberle rode off into the night, calling a cocky _I believe you got the better end of that trade_ over her shoulder.

Sammy flashed before her eyes again, and she gritted her teeth, fighting the urge to cry out after the girl.  _No,_ she thought, _I really didn't._

...

"Alright, whatever your issue with me is, just let Amberle go." Wil said through shallow breaths, eyes wide and pleading, hands held forward in a gesture of defensive goodwill. Eretria sneered.

"Not. Happening."

She jerked Amberle roughly to the side, to prove her point, and pressed the blade of the dagger harder against her throat. The girl's eyes slid to hers. Involuntarily, Eretria faltered-

-because something leapt in them, bright and doubtful and curious and cautious all at once.

_Recognition._

Amberle may not have remembered her at their first meeting, in the dark and the cold and the flickering firelight, but her eyes were widening fractionally and disbelief was clouding her expression and she definitely remembered _now._

Something flashed in response, small and unfamiliar below the rover's ribs, and Eretria **_hated_** it.

So she flashed her teeth and leered, pushing up against the girl to mask the sudden, infuriating trembling in her fingers.

 _"I have unfinished business with this elf."_  She hissed; venomously, vengeful.

A chaotic mix of fear, confusion, and stubborn defiance (ugh, only a _royal_ would try to keep their pride intact whilst an angry, obviously unstable rover held a knife to their throat) replaced the recognition in Amberle's eyes. She attempted to flinch away.

But Eretria held her tight- as she had been trained to- and Amberle's struggles were near-useless. She stilled again, stiff and annoyed and unsettled in Eretria's arms. Perhaps even a royal could (somewhat) realise when they had been beaten.

The girl broke the rover's gaze to seek Wil's. _Like a child, looking to her mother for reassurance,_ Eretria thought scornfully- but the boy only blinked at the two of them in complete and utter confusion. The rover smirked humourlessly at that.

He had no _idea._

"We... met in the woods." Amberle huffed quickly at him, by way of explanation.  
  
_Yeah,_ Eretria thought. _Yeah, we did,_ and the dagger dug deeper into the princess' skin.

...

(Amberle and Eretria didn't talk about Sammy, or their impromptu meeting as children, not for a good while after that day at the lake. It stayed in the back of their heads, simmering below the surface- the quest gave them reason to ignore it.)

...

Eretria doesn't remember when the fury started receding.

Not fading, nor weakening; at the time, Eretria believed it would never weaken-

-but it began to retreat. For some reason, it started to pull its punches. Eretria found herself talking to Amberle as if she was someone worth talking to- found herself bargaining, pleading, traveling, surviving with her as if the elf hadn't caused the death of the creature she had once loved more than anything else in the world.

Eretria didn't know why.

She didn't understand it.

She couldn't forget the little girl she had been, curled up alone and broken in the tent that fateful night, nor the hollow space that seemed to be locked permanently behind her ribs.

But also, she couldn't ignore the strange, unfamiliar feeling that had crept up on her over time, through the twisted tides of rage and uncertainty and fear that had always seemed to be constantly warring within her mind and body and soul.

The feeling was unobtrusive, and polite-

(at least she thought so, at first)

-and had settled within Eretria, unsteady and wavering in the pit of her stomach, like a stray spark from some unseen bonfire.

As time passed, Eretria didn't understand how it didn't just... go out.

It certainly seemed like it would, sometimes; but then the smallest of things would happen, like Wil cracking a joke that wasn't at her expense for once, or a certain elf girl smiling in her sleep; and the spark would stutter inside of her, small and momentary and unexpected.

She didn't think much of it, at first.

She was still angry, and there was still an empty place inside her where she had used to feel Sammy's presence, and she told herself she could still hurt Amberle and Wil.

Still kill them, if that was what it came down to.

It was a spark, and nothing more.

But then... _everything_ happened.

_"What? Afraid you'll like it?"_

_"You came back, you saved my life."_

_"Fine. I do care."_

As time passed, the spark began to flare, brighter and more often, hopeful and needy. Eretria probably shouldn't have denied it the way she did. In fact, she should've stamped it out while she still had the chance- but she didn't.

Cephelo would've told her that was a mistake.

He probably would've been right, but Eretria wouldn't have listened. She _hated_ Cephelo.

...

And Eretria didn't mean for it to happen.

But when Amberle was looking so overwhelmed and exhausted- almost _defeated_ , standing unsteadily in her stupid pretty elvish armour with streaks of grime and blood all over her, the shadows of the bunker clinging to her weary edges, and the distant light reflecting off the fragile, hopeless gleam in her eyes-

-the words _perhaps it would be better for the demons to do their bidding,_ and _maybe we don't deserve saving_ tumbling darkly from her lips-

-Eretria couldn't help it.

"I know how it feels to be trapped by your own life."

She gazed up at the elf, who was looking in the other direction, and paused.

_What was she doing, what was she doing?_

And then Amberle turned her head to look at her, and Eretria forgot her doubts. The princess' eyes were questioning, vulnerable, and _so_ achingly sad that Eretria longed just to reach out and touch her- but she didn't dare.

Instead, she shrugged a shoulder, and answered the unspoken question.

"I didn't exactly _choose_ to be a rover."

Amberle shifted, expression changing (Eretria would never fail to awe at how easily the elf felt for others- for _her_ ) and asked softly,

"You said you were bought?"

Eretria nodded. She braced her palms against the painted wood beneath her.

"So the story goes," she exhaled.

Before she had time to think better of it, she pushed herself jerkily out of her sitting position, and rose to her feet. Suddenly, she felt stupidly self-conscious.

_Why was she self-conscious?_

_Oh, yeah, right, just voicing things she'd never told anybody else before._

She dragged her gaze along the ground as she approached Amberle. "According to Cephelo, he vastly underpaid. Says my first owners were pretty good to unload me."

Amberle's chin was low, and her eyes were cast downward. Eretria halted in front of her, keeping her tone drawling, nonchalant, forcibly careless.  "And who knows about my parents?"

"That's awful." Amberle murmured, catching Eretria off guard. It wasn't as if she had expected the other girl to be callous- she was _Amberle,_ after all- but Eretria had grown up with rovers, and after a while she'd learned to treat kindness as a luxury. Everyone had learned, eventually.

 _(Never expect great things from the world, kid. It just ends up disappointing you,_ Cephelo had told her once, an unfamiliar, hollow look in his eyes she hadn't quite known how to decipher. _Same with people. Don't trust in any of that innocent, lovey-dovey bullshit everybody thinks they want, alright? You'll just end up with a pocket full of regrets and a scar or two that won't ever bloody heal.)_

(Eretria had been young and ignorant then- all bright-eyed and big-hearted- but later, she'd understood.)

Amberle raised her head, brow crinkling as she studied Eretria's expression.

"...So you were alone," The elvish girl continued, holding her gaze, "You had no one."

Eretria shifted, glanced away. The fleeting memory of Cephelo faded into a much more vivid one, and she fought the urge to clench her fists. "Not... no one."

She didn't see the other girl's face, didn't want to look, but she heard Amberle's quiet intake of breath.

 _"Sammy."_ The princess breathed in realisation. Eretria's stomach lurched. She hadn't heard his name in so _long._ "What happened to him?"

Silence fell. A bird twittered, distant and echoing, from the forest above their heads.

"He's dead." She finally forced out.

"But-"

Eretria clenched her jaw.

"But, you loved him more than anything else in the entire world."

Amberle's tone was careful and questioning and oh-so-gentle, and Eretria just

_snapped._

"It doesn't _matter_ that I loved him." Eretria's gaze jerked up to meet Amberle's, and fury rose in her stomach, and she knew the other girl could see the tears in her eyes, but she didn't care. She didn't _care._

"It doesn't _matter,_ because Cephalo _killed him anyway!_ And it was **_all-"_** she punctuated this with a rough, poorly-aimed shove at Amberle's shoulders with both hands, **_"your-"_** another shove, _**"fault!"**_

Sammy flashed before her eyes again, and her heart ached and blazed and roared.

Eretria didn't realise that she'd pushed them back a few steps, but then Amberle staggered, her boot catching on something. The elf girl fell heavily to the ground, sword clattering somewhere off to the side, and Eretria landed none-too-gently on top of her, bracing her forearms instinctively onto the ground on either side of the girl's head.

Amberle cried out in pain, but didn't attempt to roll out from underneath her attacker, nor defend herself- _why wasn't she defending herself?_ _-_ and simply stared up at Eretria with wide, helpless eyes. The rover snarled in return, ignoring the insistent blaze of tears that she _refused_ to let fall.

_She didn't care, she didn't care, she didn't **care.**_

**_"It's your fault."_** She hissed through bared teeth.

Amberle gazed up at her, and Eretria hated how she could look so _beautiful_ even with dirt and grime and exhaustion clinging to her edges, even with hair askew and shadows under her eyes, even while pinned to the ground by an vengeful, screwed-up rover.

 ** _"I'm sorry,"_** she whispered-

and Eretria fucking _broke._

She collapsed onto Amberle.

And Eretria did what she had promised herself she never would again.

She  _cried._

Eretria sobbed into Amberle's neck, clutching desperately at her clothing. The other girl let out a sharp breath at the sudden weight; but then, unexpectedly, her arms came up to encircle the other girl. Her embrace was hesitant, uncertain and careful, but Eretria clung harder to her, and (in what must've been a reflex, judging by its speed), her arms tightened in return.

"I-" the rover choked, "I couldn't- _Sammy-_ "

Amberle shushed her, with a tender press of lips to the top of her head, and Eretria shook with fear and care and doubt and grief and tears and a thousand other things; things she'd ignored and denied and chased away ever since she'd emerged from that tent as a damaged nine-year-old with an empty space in her chest where the words _I love you_ used to be.

"It's okay," the princess mumbled into her hair. The rover fell apart in her arms.

Eretria didn't know how long they lay there. She doesn't remember how or why her crying eventually stopped- perhaps it was the minutes passing, or the quiet of the bunker, or maybe simply the steady rise and fall of Amberle's chest against hers as she breathed, that calmed her. Eventually, the tears dried on her cheeks- slowly, tortorously, but surely. Her shudders, however, took longer to cease.

Amberle must've noticed her shaking, because at some point she started tracing aimless, dragging patterns over Eretria's back with her fingertips, brushing lightly over the cloth of her shirt. For some reason, it comforted her. Eretria had never really thought of herself as a touchy-feely person before, but Amberle had changed a lot of things she once thought she'd known about herself.

At last, when Eretria had calmed somewhat, and had been lying still and silent on top of Amberle for quite a long while, she mumbled,

"Why?"

"Hmm?" The princess hummed questioningly. One of her hands skimmed over the back of Eretria's neck, and, involuntarily, she shivered. Amberle must've sensed it, but didn't comment.

"Why don't I hate you?" Eretria muttered, throat still hoarse from crying.

Without warning, Amberle's muscles tensed, and she sat up in one smooth, swift motion. Eretria let out an rather embarrassing yelp of surprise, and nearly slid off her- but Amberle tightened her grip, and somehow Eretria ended up in her lap, arms around the elf's shoulders, their faces inches apart.

The rover stared at her.

"Sorry, um..." Amberle gestured weakly behind her, "It was just, really uncomfortable, lying on my sword."

"You...lay on your sword."

Indeed, the weapon glinted dully from the ground over the elf girl's shoulder.

"Um, well, yes. I couldn't really move, so..."

Unexpectedly, Eretria flushed. (she hadn't flushed in _years,_ what the hell was Amberle doing to her?)

"And, to answer your question, I have no idea." Amberle tilted her head, studying her. "I mean, there's probably a rover code for hating elves, right?"

"No, but-" The rover let out a sigh, ignoring her blush. "I promised myself I hated you. I promised myself I'd always hate you."

Amberle drew back slightly, brow furrowed cutely, and Eretria didn't understand the part of her that just wanted to pull the other girl closer again.

"You said Sammy's...dead? And it's my fault?"

She sounded so _ashamed_ of herself.

Eretria hated it.

When she was younger, she had imagined confronting Amberle many times; usually her imaginings had included a villainous, uncaring Amberle, harsh words and violence and blood, and eventually the sweet, sweet taste of absolute _vengeance._

But Eretria never could've expected this.

She'd never imagined that she'd ever sit on Amberle's lap, encircled by her arms, their weapons forgotten, tear tracks damp and freezing on her cheeks. She'd never thought there'd be shame, and regret, and near-overwhelming _self-deprecation_ in Amberle's voice; and she'd never, not in a million years, had thought that she would ever ache to make all of those things disappear.

But here she was.

"Yeah, I did say that." Eretria met Amberle's gaze, biting her lip. "Cephelo killed Sammy because I let you go."

"Because you took me back to Arborlon."

"Yeah. I- I promised him I wouldn't let Cephelo hurt him."

"And you broke your promise." The elf girl realised. "Because of me."

Eretria nodded, fighting back yet more tears that threatened to rise to the surface.

"Oh, _Eretria-_ " and before she could react, Amberle was surging forward, hugging her fiercely. The rover stiffened momentarily- but then, as if by instinct, she returned in kind.

The two girls clung to each other. The echoing, ancient emptiness of the bunker overshadowed them completely, and in any other circumstance Eretria might have felt dauntingly small and insignificant; but, for some reason, Amberle's embrace seemed to her like the biggest, most important thing in the world.

She didn't understand how simply a head nuzzled into her shoulder, warm breath on her neck, and a single person, soft and heavy against her, could make the rest of the universe fall away.

"I-" Eretria couldn't believe what she was saying, but she was saying it- and the words filled the entirety of their little world, slow and heavy and life-altering.

"I- I don't hate you. I don't think I ever could. That's pretty much the only other thing I ever promised to myself, and to Sammy, and I've...I've broken that, too."

Amberle pulled back, just enough for their gazes to meet. They just...looked at each other.  Amberle was silent and perhaps speechless, little shattered shards of light reflecting off the unshed tears in her eyes, and the bunker was quiet, and there was no immediate danger, and they were just two kids, small and scared and lonely, looking at each other.

It was almost impossible, but in that moment Eretria could've sworn something leapt, forlorn and familiar, into the space behind her ribs- the same space that had remained stubbornly cold and barren since the night Cephelo killed Sammy.

Sitting there in the princess' arms, surrounded by her warmth, lost in her gaze, the rover almost felt...

safe.

(And then, as if on cue, the ElfHunters appeared, and the moment was broken.)

...

(As Amberle and Will disappeared through the roof, their shouts fading into the distance, Eretria grabbed at the agonising pain in her side and wondered how she ever could've felt safe in the arms of somebody who would and could leave her behind without a second thought.)

(Just like everybody else had. Could. Would.)

...

"My friends will find us," Eretria grunted, through gritted teeth and swallowed tears, as the cart bumped painfully along beneath her, "and you'll be sorry when they do."

"Your _friends_ took off and didn't look back." Zora replied scathingly.

(They did. They had.)

Eretria fell silent.

...

_is it possible your friends could've gone to this "Safehold" without you?_

_your destiny sounds a whole lot like slavery to me, Eretria._

_what is it **you** want?_

Tye made her question a lot of things.

What she experienced in Utopia dug deep, scrounged around inside the empty space behind her ribs, filled her head with human laughter and music and promises.

Eretria had imagined that in a place like Utopia, promises were never broken. People kept their word, leaders told the truth, and vows were locked away in a place where they could never be shattered- not by anything, nor anyone.

(She had thought Utopia was almost a promise to her- perhaps a promise to keep her safe, the way no princess' embrace ever could.)

But then Amberle had ducked out of the glowing dark, flashing lights dancing across her stupid, beautiful face-

_"-I'm not leaving here without Eretria-"_

and her promise, the one she'd sworn to herself when she stepped out of the tent on a too-bright autumn morning, shattered further under the princess' gaze.

...

The Guardians had turned her against Amberle.

And Amberle against her.

The hissed words, the raised weapons, the cold, furious look in Amberle's eyes, was everything Eretria had imagined when she was younger. She'd predicted the darkness, yes, and spitting curses at each other, and the hot pulse of fury in her blood-

sweet, sweet fury.

But it wasn't sweet.

No, the reality was... bitter.

The reality was Eretria's knife hand trembling uncontrollably and her eyes stinging with anguished tears, and Amberle's snarl biting deep into her heartstrings-

because although the words fell, easily and terribly from her lips, and Amberle was baring her teeth at her, feral and horrible, she couldn't stop seeing the elf girl smiling and reaching out and comforting her with uncertain words and asking if she was okay and crying out her name and promising her so many things without speaking, and Eretria couldn't stop seeing that girl behind the scowling, furious stranger, she couldn't-

she couldn't  _stop-_

If Will hadn't stepped between them, she didn't know what she would've done.

She didn't know what _they_ would've done.

It's funny how something Eretria had once thought she wanted; once thought she _craved,_ after Sammy's death; would haunt her for years to come.

...

 _I thought I lost you,_ Eretria thought, as her and Wil held Amberle tight. The Bloodfire and the Guardians were gone, at least for now, and she was still dangerously weak from extreme blood loss and the fact she had basically just _died_ \- but Amberle was alive.

She was alive.

Eretria was breathing, and Wil was breathing, and Amberle was breathing, and for a moment, all three of them occupied the same space. They clung to each other, weak with relief, helpless and needy as children. 

And in that moment, surrounded by warmth and tears and fragile hope-

-Eretria felt the empty space in her chest disappear.

It went so...easily. Like the next puff of shaky breath she let out, small and silent against the skin of Amberle's neck.

Sammy wasn't gone.

He wasn't replaced, he would never be forgotten...

...but for the first time, she felt like she belonged.

...

Amberle shouted at her through the bars, and the desperate look in her eyes nearly broke Eretria. It nearly made her knees buckle and her throat close up and all her last-minute, self-sacrificial plans disappear, nearly broke her completely and utterly, in a way no other person in the world could. 

But perhaps she was already broken; perhaps Amberle had broken her a thousand times over already.

Perhaps saving the two of them, buying them more time by holding back the trolls, was another way of breaking. 

She didn't care.

(She'd let Amberle break her in more ways than there were stars in the sky.)

And so, with her heart in her throat and emotion tinting her world with bright, blazing colours, Eretria reached for the girl that she kind-of-maybe-almost loved, pulled the the two of them flush against opposite sides of the bars, and kissed her.

Eretria didn't know how to describe that kiss.

She didn't think she ever could, because it was something for only the two of them to know; a secret that could not be expressed in words, nor any other language that any other person could understand.

When she pulled away, (just enough so that their noses were brushing), Amberle stared at her, speechless, with an expression that Eretria could only recognise as starstruck.

 ** _"Amberle,"_** Eretria told her, her heartdrumming a furious, thundering pattern against her chest,  ** _"You're the best promise I've ever broken."_**

The princess sighed, her breath ghosting softly over the rover's lips.

And then a troll roared, and they broke suddenly apart, and Wil was tugging a wide-eyed, stumbling Amberle down the tunnel; away from her, toward Arborlon and the demons and her destiny.

Eretria held her gaze, aching with a million more things she could say, as Amberle disappeared around the corner.

"Go save the world, idiot," she mumbled finally under her breath, turning to face the trolls.

...

_"I'll get you out of this damn tree, Amberle," Eretria murmurs now, her fingertips dusting carefully over the trunk of the Ellcrys. "No matter how long it takes."_

_**"I promise."** _

_This is a promise she does_ **not** _intend to break._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Sorry for the slow update (this chapter took longer than expected to write). Leave a comment or kudos below, it'd be great to see what you think! :D


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